When I was younger, I learned that if I gave and contributed, I would receive. It did not occur to me that I could be deserving for who I was being, not what I was doing.
Even though I am a woman in this lifetime, I had bought into the masculine paradigm of do, do, do, give, give, over-give, push, convince, prove, try too hard, push, hustle, chase, hunt, force, and achieve. Combine that with my immigrant work ethic and… oy! So exhausting. So hard on the adrenals.
Feminine energy is a receptive energy. It is allowing ourselves to receive whatever it is that we want for ourselves and our life– whether it is money, support, pampering, rest, relaxation, pleasure and play. What do you want? What is it going to take for you to realize that you are deserving of that which you want? Are you trying to prove your worth to them or to yourself?
You are enough. You don’t have to convince anyone that you are worthy. Find the worthiness inside. Wink at it. Smile at it. Walk with it. Vogue with it. How can you relax into yourself and know that the things you want are coming to you? What would happen if there was only sunshine and no moonlight, the mind and no heart? Balance your yang with your yin, your fierceness with grace, discipline with rest, reflection, and relaxation. Best learn how to embody your worth, my love. Step into yourself like an elegant dress that is completely “you” rather than hunt and chase for external validation and approval – which you may or may never get. (By the time they get around to recognizing and validating you, you won’t even care anymore because you are already so grounded and dripping in humility, self-esteem, and self-respect.)
It is more challenging for women (especially minority women) to rise up for reasons that are outside the scope of this current post. However, I suspect that you already know that. You might be feeling the heaviness of the thousands of years of cultural conditioning of separation and isolation, fear and control. It is the Patriarchy’s last gasp for air as we step into the Golden Age of the Feminine. Allow yourself to be truly independent in the sense of being truly liberated and free from all bondage. The truest form of freedom is the freedom to be you and to live fully on your own terms. The process informs the results. The unfolding can be painful, chaotic and messy or it can be intentional, graceful and high-quality. How do you want the process to feel?